You know that feeling. Someone says something, and it strikes like a discordant note in your ear, a sharp twist in your gut, a teetering tower on the horizon.
You’re wrong! You want to shout. Your intuition, well-honed by years of thoughtful education, understands this before even your rational mind does. Something doesn’t quite sit right.
But you bite your tongue. Why? Well, you’ve tried shouting before, and it doesn’t tend to work. Besides, now your rational mind, huffing, has finally caught up, and it brings a long checklist of questions: Are you certain it’s wrong? Do you know what the right answer is? Are you sure you want to slow things down? Don’t make a fool of yourself! Be a team player!
Before you know it, the moment has passed, and you’ve said nothing. And you don’t say anything later either, because ultimately, disagreeing is hard. It is a risk to put yourself out there and force a confrontation. You could be wrong, or worse, you could be labeled disagreeable.
But constructive disagreement is a good thing. In fact, it is imperative for teams that want to get the best results. And it is one of the most empowering skills one can learn, because it enables your voice to be heard and have impact. In the process of writing my book, “The Making of a Manager,” I put together a framework to break down…
